This is being posted today but I wrote it on the 4th.
Though my news of unemployment happened on January 3rd, for the record , today was the first official day. Why you ask? Simply this. Yesterday I woke up with the idea of having to go to work. I did the hair, put the face on, and rocked my new brown leather boots. I did the typical goodbyes, which involves a kiss to my fiance, Ian and hug to my dog, Birdie, and a final goodbye with the shutting and locking of the door.
Today none of that happened. As I felt the bright sun hit my face, I reached for my eye mask knowing I could sleep as long as wanted to. Of course, for any one who knows Ian, he likes to roll out and begin his morning with music and dancing (very show tune like), I on the hand typically do not embrace the morning with such enthusiasm. Fortunately, due to my most current situation, Ian has been very sensitive, and no “Oklahoma” was performed.
As I got up (or should I say when Birdie got me up; her typical behavior for most mornings is to find her way onto the bed and strategically place her body right on mine )I immediately grabbed a cup of coffee and headed for the computer. Hoping to see some responses from some previous pleas I sent to friends and contacts in the industry, I got more “oh that is terrible” “oh honey, I am so sorry” all very much appreciated, but was hoping for more like “oh no worries, my company just opened a new event planner position and you would be perfect!”. Yeah not the case. So I started the morning internet search. Checked some major companies, whose job websites were very challenging to navigate through or maybe they just didn’t have anything under the key word I was looking plugging in. What a fucking headache.
So then I went to the hotels. Why is it when you are jobless, you think it would be feasible or even worth considering taking a job at some hotel located in St. Maarten or the Bahamas. Waking up everyone morning feeling the warmth of the sun, listening to local reggie, eating jerk chicken, local seafood, and saying “no problem man” more than you ever have before , doesn’t sound too horrible, or at least tempting to explore the option. As I started to fill out the forms to see what tropical island would take me, a hit of reality started talking, “You are not going to move to some island and create this island lifestyle for yourself.” So I quickly closed the window and started searching for some more realistic job options. Oh yeah, didn’t see any.
It didn’t take long until I was done staring at the screen and knew I had to start this day and get out of my pjs. I am promising myself today , that every day I will shower, do my face (at least coverup the horrible black circles around my eyes I have inherited) and put on clothes other than my favorite yoga pants.
Once I got myself together, I took Birdie and we sat outside on our front stoop. I see people doing this all the time in the middle of the day and they seem to enjoy it. I lasted about 5 minutes. I don’t know why some think living the unemployment life and reaping the benefits is so great, I am not even 24 hours in and I am bored out of my mind. I turned to my faithful fury friend and asked what I should do today. Heading out to Barnes and Nobles was the call. I saw the lunch work crowd out and I can’t believe it , but I was jealous. Many would think that having off would be great, but I don’t think I realized how much I identified myself and enjoyed having the structure that a job brings. By two o’clock pm, I finished my quick return and purchased a new day planner, which I still am trying to figure out what events need to be marked in it. (I added birthdays of family and friends just so it looked filled) I always liked getting my new calendar for the year, it made me excited and felt good that there were things filling the days of each month. Ugh...................
I should mention, I am getting married so that was a very important date to write in my new, crisp white, September page. But the rest of the month looked pretty blank.
The money thing makes me nervous. I try to be smart about deciphering my “wants” from my “needs” but knowing that my financial situation will be changing soon, I felt guilty even using my Barnes and Nobles gift card, which we all know can only be used in purchasing stuff at Barnes and Nobles and not applied to food purchases or heating bills.
After my departure from the book store, I headed home with again the million dollar question, “what now”? I can imagine most people in the unemployment circle can relate to this feeling, especially if they have become so accustomed to a routine and the hours of their job. Now I am not saying that I can’t and don’t enjoy time away from that routine, but for some one like me, too much time off, (unless I am traveling and not home) gets boring .
I knew it was too early and completely unjustifiable to flop my ass on a bar stool at 2:00 in the afternoon, but I tell you,, a cold beer did sound good. I did promise myself today that I will not drink before 5:00pm on a week day. (by myself that is!) I do plan on hitting a couple of different happy hours that in the past I missed because of work. Oh look a positive end.
After hitting a new local coffee house, which I enjoyed, even though this obnoxious man kept talking at a volume level that required me to put my head phones on. I left at 4:30 which made me felt good and I was heading home at a reasonable time.
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